Conscientious Worker Gifts

"He's a new bagger from the supermarket. He's really conscientious!"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

Office Ergonomics.

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

'That's what I like about you Roberts, you're not afraid to get out there and take a risk.'

'He has a weak character. Notice how easily he lets his work distract him?'

Dispatched

"I'm really impressed with your work ethic."

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

'While we appreciate company loyalty, Larson, you should really be in the hospital.'

Middle Manager

"You go the extra mile for us, but in the wrong direction."

'Herbie dear, why can't you ever forget the office?!'

"Larry, can you take over the meeting for a minute? My doctor is insisting I take a few deep breaths."

'Most loyal employee in my department.'

"I was in the office an hour early this morning."

'But I thought you said this was going to be a vacation home.'

'Your propensity for hard work is having a negative effect on the other employees, Simpkins!'

Man with t-shirt: 'I think, therefore I don't vote'

Your performance evaulations and sales figures are exceptional, but the company's a little bit concerned by your cholesterol numbers.

"I like getting to work on time. I just wish someone was here to appreciate it."

Black Lives Matter

"You're all work and no play. You're my kind of employee!"

Organic Filing

'I know right from wrong and that's been holding me back.'

"Wasted water, wasted gas, all that pesticide. . . sorry, dad. I can't in good conscience help with our lawn!"

What would Jesus Do

"How can I get mad at him for sleeping on the job? It was me who told him naps were good for your health."

"I'll invest, but you must promise none of my money will go towards that Robert Mugabe."

Fur Coat and Turtle Neck Protest.

A man with the world on his mind inspects the world

Frame 6 reads: What brings you in on a Saturday?

I admire his PASSION, I REALLY do but 4am Powerpoint presentations on improving customer satisfaction ratios can be a LITTLE wearing!