Connoisseurs Of Condescension Pillows

'Don't forget! This next part has to be all your tippy-toes.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

Henrik Ibsen,

Totalitarian Humour

Yakety-Yak

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

The Forever Stamp

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"My kid could do that."

Shawn considered himself a vegetarian by proxy.

Sculptor's chippings

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"My bouche was not amused."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

"Poor bastard. The New York 'Times' just panned his zinfandel."

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

"I wouldn't read that book, dear... it's only there to impress visitors."

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

Chip and Fran Cooper: The Most Embarrassing Parents in the World.

Please do not give insider tips to the bears.

"But you got some good reviews too, yeah?"

"The Doge ate my homework."

You heard of the 'drugs tsar' and the 'fat tsar'...well this is the new 'waiting room tsar!'

School of Comparative Anatomy

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

Judgeasaurus

'I'm told they even eat our arthritic knuckles.'

"I've had a few days to calm down and process things and I've come to the realization that I was wrong to have had faith in humanity."