Congressional Events Gifts

Lame Duck

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

They're Not Just That Into It

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Green Balloon

"I am so attracted to you right now."

All dressed up and no place to go

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

The Decline of Europe

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"We've come so far together...wouldn't it be great if they had frequent achiever miles?"

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Inhospitality tent.

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.