Congressional Events Gifts

Lame Duck

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

"Uh-oh...it's starting to delegate work to me."

Green Balloon

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"I am so attracted to you right now."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'Remember, Henson; we're not here to hobnob - we're here to schmooze.'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

The Decline of Europe

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

"We've come so far together...wouldn't it be great if they had frequent achiever miles?"

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Inhospitality tent.

Suzies days as a flower girl were numbered.

At home - 'small and early' - refreshments.

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'