Conflicted Teenager Gifts

'Hello Childline... my parents just don't rock.'

The Teen Years of A Red Delicious.

Sex Education Class: "Smirking or non smirking?"

'Awesome!'

'Teachers' Dreams.' 'Young man, either you remove your hand from under her sweater or I will remove it your arm.'

A kid like me needs a dad like you! You know. Someone to post bail.

"Sure I'm Alfred the Great now, but in high school I couldn't get a date."

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

'The nightlife around here? Pretty boring if you ask me Dude: My parents are awake...'

'My Social Worker said SOCIETY is to blame for my loutish behaviour, which came as an enormous relief to me.'

'Yes, mom - this is a tattoo! You don't like? Then screw you!'

'I think I'm beginning to understand what sex is all about.'

"I'll kiss you later. Catch! I meant catch you later!"

"Dear Ask Sadie, My mom is always nagging me to clean my room. I don't see why I should have to. I like it the way it is. I don't nag at her for having a clean room, because I know that's how she likes it. How can I get her to just let me be?" "Excellent question. The thing is, it's your mother's job to shape you into a respectable person." "If you think 'being you' includes being dirty, that means you're a dirty, slovenly filth-beast..." "...who will end up alone and miserable because no liv

"This zit is growing way out of control!"

"Wasted water, wasted gas, all that pesticide. . . sorry, dad. I can't in good conscience help with our lawn!"

'Don't try and act cool by saying it's the blood of the undead, we both know it's acne.'

"You're about to enter a semi-autonomous region of this house."

"Turn it up Shaz - I can hear myself think."

"I kept dropping my phone and cracking the screen. So, my parents bought me a thicker cover."

'I'm worried about job security and I don't even have a job yet!'

"I know I should live every day like it's my last, but if I skip class and my mom finds out it will be my last."

"Look dude, if you like a girl...you gotta move fast!"

"So let me get this straight...the equality movement has basically doubled the number of crazy high school kids who secretly decorate cars in the middle of the night?"

'Why are you so upset over a little thing like your daughter's bikini.'

"Baldo, I'm sorry! Tia Carmen's friend Maria left this book here by accident. Silly me, I thought it was yours! Ha ha ha!"

"We said 'no' but then he started a crowd-funding campaign and bought it himself."

Girl refusing a boy's advances.

'I don't have a bad attitude! I can't help it if everything sucks!'

"How real is your fake ID?"

"Now that I've quit hating girls, I 've got pimples."

"My parents are okay too, I suppose. I just wish they weren't so...parenting!"

"Cheer up. Your dad had so many pimples in high school, we played connect-the-dots on his yearbook photo."