Conflict Resolution Humor Gifts

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'Hey, look, I can stand up and shout, too!'

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

Israel/Palestine Conflict

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Large Emoticon Collider

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"We hope seeing a marriage counselor maybe could make one of us less stubborn!"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."