Cone Collar Commentator Gifts

"Jeez, Charlie. . . as if the cone isn't humiliating enough!"

Wifi in Hell

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

Dog in love

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

"Fill it up!"

'The Chinese are using their currency as a weapon!' - 'Yeah - they have an ATM bomb!'

"I'm not unhappy, just surprised at all the other denominations that are here."

'My job security hinges on the fact that I work cheaper than someone overseas.'

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

Dog's Loo

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"Let's face it, Tom. A society that's paying its Frank Sinatras and Johnny Carsons more than its yous and mes is out of whack."

'I think it's called RED!'

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

'I don't know, Al... A dumpster in the middle of the woods! Seems kind of fishy to me.'

'Some settling of contents may have occurred over the past 15 years.'

"Gesundheit!"

'You're a legend, sir. We studied you in our criminal justice class.'

'Let's face it, if there was any talent about, we wouldn't be watching this rubbish!'

Snatching Failure from the Jaws of Success

''Woof, Woof, Woof.' You call that a blog entry?'

"Deacon, you cannot wear a collar! People will confuse you with being a priest."

'Don't tell me you want universal health care!'

Actually, Bob, it's a myth that most of our heat escapes through our heads.

"I couldn't pull it off. Looks good on you, though."

'Let's be frank. Perky isn't right for you.'

"So what if they laugh? The world needs a little more laughter."

"I'm fine. She's just a prude."

'Who? Boson? Higgs Boson? Hey, where the hell have you been hiding?'

"Yeah...it IS kinda like selling guns to crazy people, isn't it...?"