Condolences Gifts

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

Prejudice/Empathy

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Sorry

"If you think this is bad, you should see what they do to themselves"

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

Ice Cream Flavors

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"OK, what have you done?"

Hyacinths

"It's a full-blown empathy attack!. . . help me sneak him out of here before this thing spreads through the entire company!"

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Local wildlife bringing an old beggar food.

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

Very sorry

Humane Mouse Trap "It doesn't kill them,. It just makes them feel really guilty about inconveniencing you."

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

The Good Samaritan.

Greeting Cards

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'Your heart is slightly larger but that's because you're an animal lover.'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

"Thnakes thuppothed bo be thkarey..."

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Somebody needs a hug.

Feeling guilty? Florest

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

I've got worms!