Commiserating Gifts

Ice Cream Flavors

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

"I'm sorry Jayne, but I've got cold feet."

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"Of course I mind, but it's the only way I get to see him"

Being home based the highlights of Colin's day was ringing his office based colleagues to check on how their commute had been that morning.

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

Somebody needs a hug.

"Can't they compromise and sell candy apples?"

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

'We're having a graduation party for Jerome. Actually, it's more like a fund raiser.'

"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"This project is crucial guys. Time may be short but you are shorter."

'It couldn't handle one more office reorganization.'

'He said; 'His wife doesn't understand him'.'

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

'I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months. It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without.'

"My wife understands me."

"The most common craving in pregnancy is not to be pregnant!"

'Wait a minute -- you did all this stuff in a VIDEO GAME?'

"Here he is, folks, straight from his deathbed in Jersey City, a beautiful guy—let's hear a nice round of applause for . . ."

'Thanks for walking me home, but as the restaurant was five miles away a taxi might have been nice.'