Consoling Gifts

Somebody needs a hug.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Counting ribs

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Licensed Therapist

We should take a break. Ron's eyes have turned into spinning rainbow wheels.

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

Turn, turn and turn.

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

Fight or Flight

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Another day at work would be one too many...

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"What do you want to talk about first...the kleptomania or the hoarding?"

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

Mind-Fullness

Try Mediation

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.