Consoling Gifts

Somebody needs a hug.

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Counting ribs

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

Turn, turn and turn.

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"What do I do to relieve stress? I meditate, about not working here."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Fight or Flight

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'The problem is, she's so damn crabby.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

'I had no idea aspirin came in such a large bottle.'

Try Mediation

Mind-Fullness

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

Cat in a flap