Condo Philosophers Pillows

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

"So that's where you were last night."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'I'm sorry Martha, but I've fallen in love with a light bulb.'

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"If atheism is a religion, why hasn't it broken up into splinter groups who murder each other?"

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

The next step in human evolution was homophilanthropist.

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

"Great pet, but we should have given him less energy."

"What if we don't like their country personas?"

Jay McInerney

'One question. Now that death's over and done with, do I still have to worry about taxes?'

"So what books didn't you get around to reading during lockdown?"

Respected cartoon couple, Elmo and Merle Blinkwhistle, take a little time out each day to gather their thoughts.

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

That's not quite what I meant by a 'balanced diet'..

"Tuesday is my day off - leave a message..."

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

Art Museum vs Refrigerator Artwork

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

'Which would be cheaper, let bullies continue to take my lunch money or take karate lessons?'