Concrete Jungle Lover Gifts

City Hammock

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Did I show you my new climbing hydrangea plants, Mr. Fessler?... Mr. Fessler?"

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'

urban agriculture

tiger strangling snakes

"We call it, 'Green meadows' because that's what it was before we decided to build on it."

Flowers in the city

Leopards do change their spots

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

Jane and Tarzan's wedding.

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"Here's my plan. We grow our roots for 30 years until they crack the cement, which dismantles the fence. Then we just push it ove and make a break for it. You in?"

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

"Deal! I'll introduce you to Dian Fossey and you'll introduce me to Jane Goodall!"

"You'll have to cut back that climber now that it's pulled down the TV aerial!"

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

'We don't eat just anyone, ya know. You should feel honored.'

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

Reality Bites

'I'd love to help you guys, but I've got it pretty good here. I protect them and they throw me their sick and occasionally the odd jerk they want rid of.'

'Tarzan'