Jungle Lover Gifts

"Call Jane."

'Hmmm...'

'Tap shoes? You can't use tap shoes in the jungle! Honestly, Herb, you'd let the trader sell you anything!'

"Relax, that's only Tarzan's yell!"

"Fine. If it's a boy, we'll call him Boy. But if it's a girl I want to call her McKenzie."

"Trust your instinct son, not the rubbish spewed on Social Media..."

"108 kilometres per hour. . .that won't be cheap buddy."

"Humans are really the bane of tree-snakes..."

"Way to impress my girlfriend Dad: A mighty burp instead of a mighty roar!"

'Ms Phelps, it's a jungle out there. Must we make one in here as well?'

'Tarzan'

The 1st annual 'coming together of the species' party had been going superbly until this point.

'Your problem is that you don't see the big picture.'

'Ooga says we're descended from people!'

'Okay, but I'm going to hate myself in the morning.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Jane sure Jane really into living in jungle thing?

'Do you think we ought to?'

"I understand things are jumping in the tree canopy."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'Tarzan interviewing for a position as a corporate lawyer.' An interviewer asks, 'When we go against the gorillas, how can we be sure that you won't forget which side you're representing?'

'It's hard to believe this is just an atrium.'

'Thanks for being up support staff.'

Jeff realised it was probably time to discontinue his subscription to 'Office Plant of the Month'.

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Ted often though back to those good old days when he was king of just the jungle.

'Well you said you wanted sushi for lunch.'

Jungle Games

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"Blame the scientists who are teaching me sign-language Mum: It's not my fault if it's easier to learn the rude signs..."

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

"Tarzan no want computer."

'...and cut the croc stories, I know you're just trying to make this dull trip exciting.'