Concert Crusader Gifts

Band called ALL SORTS REALLY: 'This way, whenever someone is asked what music they like, we get a free plug.'

"By 'lighten up' do you mean 'dumb down'?"

'Don't worry, the first 30 years working as a sound engineer are the hardest.'

"This next one goes to a special someone who stole my soul... literally!"

'Maybe next concert we should ease up on the volume.'

Ticket Agencies...

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"Global warming, income inequalities, protests and COVID-19. Get up and do something! Help out already, now!!!"

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

Nervous Student

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

'I love rock festivals!'

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"You're still burying your bones? I store mine in the cloud now."

'Iran offered us a deal -- we learn to pronounce 'Ahmadinejad'.....and they'll try 'Schwarzenegger.''

"Joel Daniels: Live from behind the CVS"

"Now, before we actually help them, let's discuss our partnership and method of assisting."

'We lost funding.'

Union and Non-Union Carpenter Ants.

'I'm looking for a job where I get free concert tickets.'

"I happen to be somewhat in a rush. Would it be possible to discuss the various aspects of multiculturalism at some other time soon?"

"I don't object to their right to roam, I just wish they would wipe their feet."

Dido

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"