Conception Pillows

'I know I act crazy sometimes, but it's not my fault. I was conceived during March Madness.'

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Bond James, Bond."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"I can't protect you from everything, but I can read you stories that make you believe I can protect you from everything."

Cry babies.

The cell phone soother for life.

My First Camera

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Baby Piano

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

A midwife holding a baby

"I only travelled with my umbilical cord!"

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

The Map of the human brain

"That's not how I sat on you."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

"Does knowing you're being watched on a baby monitor keep you out of mischief?"

Children's artwork exhibition.