Concentration Masters Gifts

"I have to commend you for your ability to focus."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

The cat taught her to live life to the fullest. Which, for an indoor cat, means eat, sleep and stare out the window.

Yoga with Baby

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

The art of yoga is the power of the mind.

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"That's good. Now extend the fingers and lose the attitude."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

All we have in life is this moment...

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

The fierce urgency of now - and how to avoid it.

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

'With proper meditation, you can get bark and bite in harmony.'

Man can levitate but can't hold fingers properly.

'Are you sure about that? -- It sounds more like Ayn Rand than Buddha.'

"'I think, therefore I am'? - How illusory can you GET?"

"Ever since I started Yoga, I don't freeze up as much."

'Oh, I'm okay, I guess - I just thought enlightenment would be more FUN than this.'

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

Are you able to concentrate on your work? My mind wanders a lot but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.

OM, SWEET OM

'I think we need a good Project Manager to coordinate our efforts...'