Concentration Gifts

'How can a person meditate with that racket going on?'

NOT NOW

"Helen, you're drifting."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

Psychic Fair. You know when and where, just CONCENTRATE.

'I think he want you to be quiet!'

"I'm worried about little Gwendoline. She's ignoring her phone and thinking on her own!"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

Remote control pirate bully

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Brian was very proud of his dog.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Your shoe's untied.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

Inclusive speech

"Tommy!"

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Busy Workload Today and Especially Tomorrow

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

Mittens is challenged by the string.

he tries to fly all the time but actually never gets airborne

Boy rolled into a snowball

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'