Computer Capsize Gifts

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

Out and In.

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'He licked all my tongue depressors.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"Lori, I can’t talk right now — I’m right in the middle of updating my dog’s Facebook page."

Clickbait

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Friday 5.30pm.

The ROI on social media was not yet optimized.

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

'Miss Baxter, bring me another computer.'

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

Welcome to Silicon Valley...the user friendly place.

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

Jeff's computer had ran out of memory again. Computer is saying 'How do I turn on again?'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

Dept. of cyber friendship.

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

'I love your crocheted computer cover darling, but can I take it off now?'

Instead of that CD, how about feeding me a nice bagel for a change?

Internet Dude

"But if you don't learn your letters and numbers, how do you ever expect to come up with a strong password?"