Computer Crasher Gifts

'My computers down again!'

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"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

"Well, that's the only song we know, so we can play it another two or three times, or we can cut our losses. Waddya say, Cleveland?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

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Language purists bring correctness to a whole new level, forcing a name change for Ireland's most famous band.

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

'I love rock festivals!'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"What a disappointment. When you said your dad was a troll, I thought he'd be living under a bridge."

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"Miles... I'm going abstract!"

"Sure I remember you. I'm terrible with faces but I never forget a username, pin or password."

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

'To sped up our sandbox compliance issues I've called in a couple of sandbox experts.'

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

Dept. of cyber friendship.

"I couldn't afford an antivirus, so I installed a sneeze guard instead."

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

'We had a power surge, and the electronic scoreboard seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

"Agreed then-I won't network you if you don't network me."

Trying to switch on the computer.

"Who should I call first: 911 or technical support?"

"Next week si my parent & teacher, principal, guidance counselor, crossing guard, bus driver and lunch lady conference. Is that bad?"

"But if you don't learn your letters and numbers, how do you ever expect to come up with a strong password?"

Hacked by Pacific Rim