Composting Guru Gifts

Andy Johnson, Hardcore Composter

The Environmentalist

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Food waste with recycling symbol

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'That plant food really works!'

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

"Would it kill you to compost?"

"Mulch madness"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

'Worms? Have you tried Snyder's mulch pile?'

Flower growing on a compost heap.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Dustbin monster.

Bird nesting in the garden.

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

Solar Power.

Are we at the right stage in life to begin composting?

Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator.

The Mafia Goes Green.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

Person made from 100% recycled materials.

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

The timing doesn't work for eco-club to start a garden. I have a better idea. Build a compost bin. You can recycle the school's leaves and grass clippings. You'll have good soil for a garden next spring. That's not enough time for college admissions essays. Write about the trauma of delayed gratification. Never heard of it.

The stuff of Legend.

'I have to ask you this before I say yes to a date - you don't contribute to global warming very often, do you?'

Gone to seed.

"I certainly hope you're composting the leftovers."

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

Eat your salad. Blurg! Now! Quick! Put it into my bag! Finito. Mother! You've started up your compost pile, haven't you? You make it sound so rotten!