Composting Aficionado Gifts

"I find that an hour in the compost pile provides my minimum daily requirement of everything."

Food waste with recycling symbol

What are you giving Mother Earth this year?

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

But is it organic?

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'That plant food really works!'

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

'It's a bold initiative but I don't think it's right for the staff kitchen.'

For our eco club project, let's get bottled water banned from school. Hold on. Go on!

What the heck is wrong with people? These leftovers are perfectly good – and #5 plastics go in the recycling bin!

"Would it kill you to compost?"

"Mulch madness"

Litter Pick

"We'll analyze the only thing left to analyze: what people throw away."

'Worms? Have you tried Snyder's mulch pile?'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Flower growing on a compost heap.

Reuse it or lose it.

Rubbish and Everest

Bird nesting in the garden.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

Are we at the right stage in life to begin composting?

Recycling Centre

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

"I think Jules is reminding Nat that each and every one of us produces four pounds of garbage each day, every day."

This is where Brent council sends you

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

The stuff of Legend.

The Mafia Goes Green.

The timing doesn't work for eco-club to start a garden. I have a better idea. Build a compost bin. You can recycle the school's leaves and grass clippings. You'll have good soil for a garden next spring. That's not enough time for college admissions essays. Write about the trauma of delayed gratification. Never heard of it.

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.