Compost Critic Gifts

"Compost? I say it's manure, and I say the hell with it!"

No Elgar!

Garden Shop: Top Soil. Bottom Soil.

"Mulch madness"

'Worms? Have you tried Snyder's mulch pile?'

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

Snowman has twisted, wonky carrot nose: 'Apparently, it's organic.'

"It's not carrots but the love of carrots that's the root of all evil."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

Bird nesting in the garden.

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

The Mafia Goes Green.

The stuff of Legend.

Gone to seed.

"Have you ever used a plastic straw?"

Earthly Delights Garden Centre

'Boy this is a great garden: You can taste the natural compost and fertilizer...'

'Please tell me you didn't pay for that stuff.'

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

The Additives Arrive...'This cereal tastes like it has some sodium propionate in it.'

"Leftover seeds."

Garden Shop: Pig $#!@ and Sheep $#!@

If students are more than a test score why aren't teachers?

'I find that an hour in the compost pile provides my minimum daily requirement of everything.'

"It was my husbands dying wish to be buried in his herb garden."

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

'I just love eating organic food.'

October: Brush all leaves into a neat pile to rot. They will make valuable plant food.

'We'll have a job finding another gardener as dedicated as old Tom.'

"Run! It's Armagluten!"

Gardener's Calendar: January - Look for some out-of-the-way corner and start your compost heap.

'Only carrots. I thought there would be a choice.'

The first six ingredients in this cereal are sugar!