Compliance Crusader Pillows

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"We audit at dawn."

'Yes, Mr Brown, I am aware that 'Tax' is Latin for 'estimate'. But you can't just guess at the numbers!'

You're living in the past, sir. We closed that loophole years ago.

'...and then I began reading the book of New Regulations.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Ironing day.

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"I think globally, but I tend to pollute locally."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

"I told you to wash the car, but no..."

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

One way only.

Mime walking dog passes some invisible dog poop.

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

'Way too much information on your resume.'

"How else will I know when I'm clean as a hound's tooth?"

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

"Wash your hands after handling these, Miss Utley -- They're toxic securities."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

"I'm sorry, honey. I thought you'd be happy that your germ-ridden blanket was such a hit on eBay."