Complaint Crusader Pillows

"If you want to speak 'with' someone that means you're opened-minded..."

'To stay competitive, we're instituting a new return policy...if a customer complains about our policy for more than 5 minutes then just give them a refund.' - 'I'm instituting a new strategy for my next review.'

Wal Max - Complaints Department

The ombudsman

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

Complaints Desk

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"That's the Ommbudsman."

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

Turn that noise down !

"I think I speak for all of us."

"We audit at dawn."

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

"Invasion of privacy? You should be flattered we're so concerned about satisfying your consumer desires!"

"...And there has been a rapid decline in the number of complaints."

"Yes, who do I punch in the face for overbooking my flight?"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

"It's been a great year except for me not getting any respect for my personal 'dressing for comfort' choice."

'She hates me when I'm drunk and I hate her when I'm sober!'

"I'm sick of that bloody racket next door...!!"

'Me' Weekly

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

'It's not my job to argue with you, sir. So, I'm turning you over to Mrs Yomp.'

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"People are sick of 'automated' systems, they want to talk to real people..."

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"