Compliance Champions Pillows

"As your cell bitch, I imagine my Sarbanes-Oxley expertise should come in quite handy."

"This bidder has the same name as you, and your face as their logo and you scored them top marks throughout this tender evaluation. Did you understand the conflict of interest declaration you signed?!"

'Please leave the light on, dear. I'm afraid there might be OSHA inspectors under the bed.' 'Managers at Night.'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'I thought this was supposed to be a holiday.'

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Words that can result in employee litigation box.

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

"You're in luck...I've unearthed those payroll records from 3 years ago."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'How long do we have to get in compliance?'

'You forgot the product label.'

"Uh oh, here come more regulations."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

"Son, you're old enough now to learn about something we call 'compliance'...."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

'To become ONE with the Universe, you must first become COMPLIANT with the Universe!'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'I know it's difficult to stay in compliance, with everything, Ferguson, but this is ridiculous!'

Access Assessments

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'It's not company policy but how about starting on some performance enhancing drugs?'

GDPR compliant

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'He's the most important man here - He writes the compliance procedures for the DEPARTMENT of Compliance!'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

'Its reading Health and Safety Regulations that make me feel sick!'

I thought we agreed, this birdbath was our little secret!

Super hero enforces handicapped parking law.