Complexity Analyst Gifts

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

Mensa Does Improv

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Hidden Facebook Features

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"It's great the way that computer algorithms allow the internet to feed me with opinions that reinforce the ones I've already got - all on my phone!"

= too complex

"Here's what we've accomplished so far"

'Why do it the easy way when you can do it the right way?'

'The bad news is you have a disease that only a highly-paid specialist can pronounce.'

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

Transactional Analysis... Making complex ideas simple!

'Well the GOOD news is that the new software analyzed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product...'

Fakebook

Physics: Unified Theory. Luftkopf's work on string theory is all tangled up.

'To put it simply, our policy just isn't complicated enough.'

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

'These are the data security consultants we hired last week. When it comes to firewall design, they're in a class by themselves!'

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

Existential Material - All Ends Up.

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

It's hard to get a grip on reality these days because more than ever "reality" is a very slippery concept.

'Doctor, I just can't seem to relate to my computer equipment these days.'

'Hi, Pam, I'm Dave from tech support online. Just hit these three keys and your back in business!'

Chaos Theory: Only 6 More Days Until All Hell Breaks Loose!

Humans rarely use cash anymore. It's all electronic transfers in and out. Computer algorithms target them with ads, telling them what to buy. More and more, computer programs select marriage partners for them. And now we're seeing electronics override human drivers in cars! Only alarmists worry about electronic devices taking over the world and controlling our lives. Sometimes they are just so funny!

'I thought I had them all figured out, and then they started talking about their 'biological clocks,''

'85% recover with no complications, 60% of the remaining 15% will have a slower recovery rate, and the remaining 40% of the 15% may need additional treatment.'

'Oh no. More lab results.'

Gobbledygookologist

'No, it's no mistake, Martini. I want you to download the entire internet for me.'

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'