Complexion Connoisseur T-Shirts

'I wish I had your lovely complexion, Sarah.' 'That is so sweet. I wish I had your... sweet nature.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"You call this a constitution?"

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Mensa Does Improv

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

Bleak House

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

C Day Lewis.

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Mass Confucian

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Transactional Analysis... Making complex ideas simple!

"Mr. Reagan, do you swear to tell the truth..."

'To put it simply, our policy just isn't complicated enough.'

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

Dmitri Shostakovich

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."