Connoisseur Of Complexity T-Shirts

The EU rolls back US wine imperialism. Chateau Postmoderne has undertones of angst, fragmentation and self-doubt, mixed with an intriguing gout de desespoir.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

Mensa Does Improv

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'Do you ever contemplate life's big questions?'

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Waiter, this jam tastes of fish!'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Transactional Analysis... Making complex ideas simple!

'To put it simply, our policy just isn't complicated enough.'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

Man reading the title of an all white painting at an art gallery.

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

'But is it ART?'

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

'85% recover with no complications, 60% of the remaining 15% will have a slower recovery rate, and the remaining 40% of the 15% may need additional treatment.'

Gobbledygookologist

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

Big Brother.

"I envy you - I wish I were close enough to my family to be estranged."

'Binge thinker'

"What do you mean, 'Have your lawyer call me lawyer'?... you are my lawyer!"

The Surrealists

"This martini in canonical."

'When we say 'it's not rocket science' we mean it's something far more complicated.'

"I no longer think, therefore I no longer am."

Obama's immigration law

Babushka

"Hard data just isn't doing it for me anymore. I crave ambiguity!"

Stress-inducing coloring book for adults