Connoisseur Of Sophistication T-Shirts

"This martini in canonical."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"For dessert, absolutely no flambé!"

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"It says it's the vodka that's distilled twenty-nine times - they just can't seem to get it right."

C Day Lewis.

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

Now Showing: "Mucky Wucky" Rated Z. That means Roger Ebert slept through it.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'To you it may contain 'a surfeit of soluble, optically active carbohydrates derives from higher alcohols'. To me, it's sweet.'

Sergei Rachmaninov

When feud becomes best seller! Moby Dick vs Herman Melville!

"If you want to spend a little more, here's one that comes with a trust fund."

'The 89's are very forward with meat on the nose and a lingering marrow-bone finish.'

'Edwards never comes out of his comfort zone.'

'Don't you think you're pampering him a bit?'

'His habitues tended to be cobbers in mutches.'

Discussing A Concert.

A Magic carpet Limo.

'And, as you taste the wine, various sensations are recorded and transmitted to your brain for later befuddlement.'

War And Peace?/The Catcher in the Rye?/Citizen Kane?/Jaws?

Cheeseboard mouse trap

Horace saved the best cigar until last...

"Can you recommend any wines for the middle class?"

"I'm frustrated because I wish I were criticizing greater things."