Connoisseur Of Fine Living T-Shirts

'Why be upset about the 2 tip? They left over half their bottle of Chateau Petrus.'

'Greenwich in the Season'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"I think I'll have the fish. No, wait... yes, the fish." "So many choices... what is a Reuben? Never mind, I'll have the fish, too." "I always get the same thing, but it's so good. Alright, I'll have the fish."

"My secret is having a ton of money to buy the best ingredients."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"Quick swig first?"

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'Our businessman's special includes fortune cookies filled with stock tips'

"Didn't I say you'd be the only man not wearing a bow tie?"

"Both the wine and I need to breathe, Albert."

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

WAITING ROOM

'The bouquet is reminiscent of rubber nose - but then, it always is...'

'It's beans OR toast, not beans ON toast.'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

"'Market Price' isn't about the food. It's what we think we can charge YOU."

'Personally, I don't question these things. My snout period will simply end when it ends.'

Bleak House

The Waiter

Wine tasters...

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'It's a taste I think I can say I've acquired.'

"Got anything not so close to the kitchen?"

'Do you know the pearl fishers?'

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"Ça suffit, good buddy!"

"This wine is CORKED!"

"Would you like to see the wine list?"

'. . . the Winter of Discontent Soup, Arab Spring Roll, Summer Madness Salad and The Season of Mellow Mists Fruit Medley.'

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."