Complexion Connoisseur Pillows

'I wish I had your lovely complexion, Sarah.' 'That is so sweet. I wish I had your... sweet nature.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"You call this a constitution?"

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Mensa Does Improv

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

"Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!"

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'Now I'm going to lump all your nagging little worries into one big complex.'

Charles Dickens.

Bleak House

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Mass Confucian

Transactional Analysis... Making complex ideas simple!

'To put it simply, our policy just isn't complicated enough.'

Dmitri Shostakovich

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

The Very Best of JOHN DOE

Specialising in Multiple Personality Disorder

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."