Complaint Solver Gifts

'The key to customer service is staying one step ahead of the customer. Especially if he's irate.'

"This vinegar's got lumps in it."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

Large Emoticon Collider

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'This rift between you and Dr. Voight has become a chasm.'

"Getting into a fight is one thing, but did you have to get into a class-clearing brawl?"

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

Shaped Much Different: Vietnam and Afghanistan.

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Sulk Shows

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

UNFADED GLORY

Two Rages Passing in the Night

"Well, let's quickly put Ken's incredibly incendiary remarks behind us and hopefully continue the discussion in a simmering rage."

'Thanks, Brian, for your thoughtful and constructive proposal. Without further ado, we'll now dive into malicious, envy-based criticism, character assassination and petty bickering!'

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

"He excels at putting out fires."

"The session isn't quite going to plan."

"My boss says I intimidate people. . . so I stared at him until he apologized."

'It WAS rather unkind of you to hide his bottle-opener, Mrs Jones.'

DIY marriage counseling.

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'While it's often said that laughter's a better medicine, I've learned that crying is best in solving disputes between husbands and wives.'

"We want you to be point dog on all our complaints to management."

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"