Competitive Watching Pillows

"But that's the beauty of the game. At this very moment, your absurd vicarious defeat is being perfectly counterbalanced by some opposing fan's absurd vicarious triumph."

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Tension filled the tent.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

The rocket powered skiier

10 K Tail-Chase

Ratminton

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

The Alpha Seltzer

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"Eat my dust!"

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

Danger Slow Sand.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Trojan Hurdler.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"I can't decide who gets the promotion, so we'll settle it with a rope toy Tug O' War."

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'