Competitive Eating Pillows

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Here's how our eating challenge works. The meal is free if you finish it without running across the street for a burger afterwards."

It was almost called 'Jerry Bens' until the famous eat-off of '78,

Competitive EatingCompetitive Vomiting

"Can you not take lunch at your desk when you're in training for a competitive eating event?"

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

The Victors

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

The rocket powered skiier

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

10 K Tail-Chase

Monica Seles

The Salesman

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

"Eat my dust!"

The Alpha Seltzer

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

The First Annual Game Show Week.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Ratminton

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".