Competitive Scholars Gifts

'Best way I know to decide who gets the research position.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'I really crammed last night.'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"That's Brian Eggleston, de facto leader of the playground intelligentsia."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

K9 Literati

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

'I'd like to challenge the test.'

National Academy of Sport

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

The Giamatti era

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

A heated argument between dons of applied maths and ancient history.

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

'You can never be too fit or too tenured.'

'I don't mind school, but I'm really tired of the commute.'

A girl climbs a ladder of books

"I went to college knowing I wanted to be an astronaut. My parents had only a third-grade education. But they were good teachers. They taught me the importance of hard work...of perseverance...of not being afraid to dream."

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

Contest to enter the University

Enlightenment Olympics.

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

Universe Challenge

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.