Academic Competition Gifts

"I'm the only survivor from last semester- what do I win?"

Contest to enter the University

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

The rocket powered skiier

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

10 K Tail-Chase

Ratminton

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

The Alpha Seltzer

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

The First Annual Game Show Week.

"Eat my dust!"

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

'You must be fast, agile and unflappable! Having fun just got serious ponies....welcome to gymkhana!

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Do you want to win the game or my business?

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"