Competitive Cousins Gifts

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Polygamists' Picnic

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"Am I through to the next round?"

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

"Act your birth order!"

Olympics create interest in curling.

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

Scraper Biking, Manhattan, Spring, '95

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'Wait a minute! I think our line has been tapped.'

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

'MOM! -- Samantha called me names in her diary!'

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

"How many times do I have to tell you to quit going through your little brother!"

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

Squash Partners.

"Mom always liked you best."

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

'How do you figure?'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

'The only reason I take him with me wherever I go, is because the thought of kissing him goodbye makes me feel sick!'