Competitive Couple Gifts

'He's been poaching for forty years and she couldn't take it any more.'

"Am I through to the next round?"

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Tension filled the tent.

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

Toothbrush Romance

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

Danth battle?

Workplace Shinanigans

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The date was going well. She was better looking, but he was about to gain the nutritional edge.

Office Competitions

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

'What a control freak!'

A report on one-upmanship in TV newscasts.

"I just knew there had to be a better use for tomatoes than making boring old sandwiches."

"I quit."

"I don’t know what it is, but every time the Bruins win, I love you more and more!"

Hat Wars.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

"I told you I wouldn't be any good at this game. Look, I've gone and hit the ball down one of those little holes again."

'This is doing your chances of winning the 'Golden Paper Clip' award no harm at all!'

'I won a prize for being the school swot. I killed more flies than anyone else.'

Skateboard Olympics.

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"

A Man mixing up his sports.

"Give me a sporting chance, love ... pass me my wicket-keeping gloves."

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

'What is it about 'Please, Dad, I beg of you' that you don't understand? FYI, my best friend Amanda's dad didn't chicken out.'