Company Benefits Gifts

'The employees are angry because the company tennis courts are always busy!' 'LET THEM PLAY GOLF!'

"Staff support"

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

Labor Day '19

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

'Yes,I do have a question.. What kind of dental plan do you have?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

I'll put my nose to the grindstone and shoulder to the wheel, which reminds me, how's the health plan?

'Your employer's health plan automatically cancels your coverage once you get sick.'

'I can't give you a raise, Milhouse, because I'm going broke supplying you with health care.'

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

The job carries 'salary but no health cover' or 'health cover but no salary.'

"It's come to my attention that one of you hasn't taken advantage of the company's free gym membership."

'With 13 holidays per year, 2 weeks sick leave, 2 coffee break each day, 4 weeks vacation a year, 80% of ife and health insurance, profit sharing, including various discounts and you still want a salary?'

'This new ruling on bankers pay has really thrown the cat among the pigeons...'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

"I couldn't get you a raise but I did get you a taller chair."

"Do your owners treat you well? Mine are very kind."

'I don't understand how the Americans are getting away with all these lateral hires.'

"We do have good health coverage, but then we never get od and we never get sick."

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

"Working here includes some pretty sweet perks."

Chester sat quietly as he enjoyed one of the perks that came with his job.

"Don't worry, I'll be very discreet with your personal medical information."