Community Service Skeptic Gifts

I'd be more impressed with your hundreds of hours of community service if it weren't court ordered.'

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

America, are we learning anything?

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Thank you, Essential Workers

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Be kind"

"Hey, that's disgusting! You can't leave that on the footpath: Make sure your master comes and picks it up!"

Meanwhile, in Florida: Little Free Library/Little Free Firearms

Handle With Care

"Cheers mate, you've done me a solid."

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"My wish is simple—to give something back to the community."

The Mainstream

"Nihilistic customer service"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Litter Pick

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

Human Rights for All

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

social services cuts

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

New Marvel Heroes

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Impotent Democracy

Policeman talking to lost child

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"Could you spare some change for a guy fresh off welfare?"