Charity Skeptic Gifts

During the Holiday season, Mr. Arthur Jeffries takes a little time to think of those who are less fortunate.

'It's a new concept in fund drives. First we collect the money, and then we decide what we're going to do with it.'

'Miss Thompson. Get me the charity list, I feel some ethics coming on!!'

'I've no time for the ice buck nonsense. I'll just continue donating to charity in my own quiet way.'

"No thanks, I know when I've had enough"

'I think we should try having a 'none week' week.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

Achiever: An illustration of how many thoughts she can have in a split second, while still listening to him.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

New from Low-Key Press.

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

'I'd feel better spending all my money here if you were a registered charity.'

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

With-it Woman

'Big Issue...'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Egomaniacs Anonymous - "There's nothing anonymous about me!"

"Please help! God struck me blind for not giving to a blind beggar."

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

'Perhaps we would be better off with fewer fans on Facebook and Twitter, and more on Visa and Mastercard!'

Marathon costume

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

'Good Lord, what is it this week? New equipment for your kid's soccer team?'

Older cousin press

'Hi Mr Miller, this is the employee opinion poll. Here's the question: 'Do you love your job, your boss and the company?' For answer A, 'Yes, I do and I want to do much more unpaid overtime', please press 1. For answer B, 'No, I don't and you can fire me'

His movember moustache made him feel very distinguished.

"Do not bury yourself alive if allergic to burying yourself alive."

Headphones Strip 18: Shared profits