Community Garden Crusader Gifts

"Let me guess: that carrot came from the community garden, not the supermarket..."

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

An old man growing berries

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Ironing day.

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Would it kill you to compost?"

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

Farmers' Warnings.

"You do have your own way of enjoying the garden, don't you?"

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

"It would kill him to run a vacuum?"

Fumes from furniture

Man in radiation suit with 'Fresh Farm Produce'.

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

Man rolling the world across a shaky bridge between organic food and genetic food.

"I don't CARE if Tracy Emin's bed sold for £4440,000...I STILL want you to clean your room."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Let me know when the floor is clean enough for me to put my feet on it again."

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

Man of steel wool.

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

Cleaner

"I remember when we wouldn't buy the bent knobbly ones. Now we pay twice as much for them."

"You'll have to clean your room by yourself. Your plea for disaster aid has been turned down by the President."