Charity Crusader Gifts

Third World debt interest repayments/ charity aid

"Now, before we actually help them, let's discuss our partnership and method of assisting."

Illustration on the problem of money that is given to charities ending up in the hands of governments.

Your Guide to Winning Movember

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

Speech against poverty

"Our charity would appreciate a donation, but I am not willing to fight you for it."

"This is exactly why I oppose free hand-outs."

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

"Be kind"

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Water scarcity in Africa

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

Please Give

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

'So in summary, if you harpoon a whale enough it dies.'

And when did you first begin to feel threatened and endangered?

Trees on the form of a map of the world, being eaten by an infestation of pests that look uncannily like humans.

"I suspect he might be depressed, let's give him a label and see whether a few years of unemployment and poverty helps his condition!"

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Closing down.

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

Be an Anti-Bullying Hero! Choose Respect.

Human Cull: People who leave their litter on the beach.

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

"Isn't it more important to learn how to be a decent human being?"

"How do I stop climate change? Tip 1: Insulate your house..."

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'