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'Look over there. That's the crazy balloon animal lady!'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"The subwoofers really help."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"...lettuce pray."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

Keyboard in Heaven

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

"Seats in all parts!"

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

"It's weeder's elbow."

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

Missing Parsons.

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"