Community Centre Manager Pillows

'Loosing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...'

'Losing your job managing the community centre was obviously a blow...but luckily we have come up with a volunteering opportunity for you...running your local community centre.'

"Living in a city with functional infrastructure must be so boring."

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

Handle With Care

Your ad here!

We're looking for a quiet neighborhood where everyone feeds us because they all believe we belong to them.

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

"OK, you're going to feel a little prick, followed by a burning desire to sue me."

"Finally...it's here! Only the best $20 I've ever spent!"

'And I bet the same resolution principles would work in your neighborhood conflicts.'

What sort of society would we have if everybody put public interest ahead of government interest?

"I'm sorry, but you wait patiently on the line for an operator. We're looking for someone who immediately pushes 3 for more options."

Automated customer service.

Desk of an urban farm manager

The Boss of the Kleptomania Clinic has turned up for work only to discover his Clinic has been stolen

"Long time commenter, first time reader. . ."

Mr. Tatnall's daycare "Just don't kill each other"

"I'm here to thank you. The suffering index is much higher since you outsourced your customer service and tech support overseas."

'Sir, our new automated telephone system saves us $20,000 annually, but our phone business has dropped 66%!'

'More outsourcing!'

'Our drug cartel would like to help Lambeth Council fight the cuts, respecting criteria of inclusion and diversity.'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

STRIP *Community Care * Change

'I'm not calling you in India for technical support. I'm calling to offer you a job.'

"Rest assured, we will be working hard to stop the onslaught of scammers and the scourge of robocalls..."

"All our phone sales staff are free range."

Social Networking Explained.

'Take me to your community leader.'

"Tech CEO, community leader, mother of two – she's both inspiring and demoralizing."

"I'm sorry. Now that everyone's home reading, watching movies, educating themselves, and reflecting on the meaning of life, there's just no money for the arts."

I Scream