Communication Crash Course Graduate Gifts

Dug had asked Patsy to see her Chuff.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

Create some buzz!

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Harold, you've changed."

Letter Collecting Nerd

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

'Let us pray...'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Enough about the forest, why don't you show us more trees?"

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

The Thinker. The Listener

'To make sure I get noticed I always talk in a big bold typeface.'

"Again, you may exercise your right to remain silent, but it's going to work against you since this is a job interview."

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Zumma Cum Laude

"Let me know when you get tired of berries. We'll work on your people skills."

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

The Horn of Unanswered Email

'My market doesn't understand me.'

"Cancel my landline...are you crazy?"

"Stop referring to you and me as 'we'!"

How to Do Small Talk??!!

There's a real disconnect going on here.

"That's his answer to everything!"

'She nitpicks all the time!'

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

How it feels to be in a company with poor communication.