Commodities Broker Gifts

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

Traders on floor of commodities exchange see kidneys trade on the quote board.

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"

'Be happy you're not in the Mexican-bottled-water pit.'

'Once upon a time, a handsome actuarial accountant caught the eye of a beautiful commodities broker...'

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The day the stock market went UP.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

The president's men

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I keep feeling we should float the company"

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Entering the Business Community: Assets/Liabilities

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"Son, you're old enough now for The Talk: everything you need to know about compound interest."

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

'Good news! Our nest egg is developing into a double yoke.'

Wall St. or True Love.

Business of Fingerpointing Line Art

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!