Commodities Analyst Gifts

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

Great Chinese Dynasties

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

'We need to change our luck. Let's move our headquarters to Redmond, the home of Microsoft.'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"They’re real."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

EU and India partnership.

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

TPP - Investor State Dispute Settlement

'Crisis'

"Tariffs"

'This is where I keep my investment portfolio.'

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"True, a salary cap on Wall Street may limit the talent pool, but, on the other hand, if they get any more talented we'll all be broke."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

...I wonder who started the rumour of your resignation?

"We're always excited to hear from analysts who are bullish on the market."