Commitment-phobic Analyst Gifts

'I'm just concerned that if we embrace change this one time, change might get the wrong idea and mistake it for some kind of long-term commitment!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"Yes ... no!"

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

Monogamy

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'I'm beginning to have second thoughts. I understand that cute wedding photographer is single.'

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

Dating Death

Woman thinking - "But is it a real relationship?"

"And you're telling me this because?"

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"