Commitment Avoiders Pillows

"Our marriage license....expired three years ago!"

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

Dating Death

"And you're telling me this because?"

"Bernie has fear of commitment - He thinks the American Psychiatric Association is out to get him."

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

"The phone number is her idea. I think she wants to split up."

'Don't you think having a relationship might put a stain on our relationship?'

'I'm going to be a lot more decisive from now on. Well... maybe not a lot more, but at least a little more.'

"It was a misunderstanding. I thought I was buying all rights to her hand in matrimony, she thinks it was just first rights."

"Hey, what if marriages had term limits?"

'Garlic and crucifixes won't hurt, but if you really want to keep the Count at bay just say 'commitment'.'

Would you like it engraved? Yes please put to my one and only love. That way if we break up and she throws it back at me, I can use it on someone else.