Commercial Break Survivor Gifts

'Remember when TV ads ran a whole minute? And we thought that was annoying!'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

Three gates of hell: marriage counseling, investments, company meetings

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Calling Tech Support does NOT count as one of my wishes!'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

In and Out Tray

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"Not much. Just enjoying my post-lunch bounce."

Between Offices

'This is Harris, he's been with the firm some 45 years!'

"Tong!"

'Don't bother cleaning out your desk. We'll be hiring you back as a consultant for half the salary and no benefits.'

The Buck Never Stops.

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Thank God! Someone to network with!"

Smoking Area. Oh, I don't smoke. I'm just addicted to ten-minute breaks.

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"It's safe to close your eyes and relax...these meetings are safety equipped with front and side airbags."

'My poor darling! Did your boss put you under pressure again?'

'FIre me and you're in big trouble. I'm on the endangered species list!'

"When I got laid off, the corporation enlisted me in the army."

"Monday is too far from Friday. Yet Friday is too close to Monday."

"I don't know how you do it. If I had your job, I'd go nuts."

Man with jumper reading 'Caution - Contents under pressure'.

"Guess what. School is presented without commercial interruption."

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"Trying to get new business is killing me..."

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

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